251012 Tarot

Strategy: The Forces at Work; Reception — Action

• A (left) Receptive Forces
• B (center) Central Element
• C (right) Active Forces

Question: What/How to focus/function in order to be more grounded, productive, and creative?

B. I am a prisoner of my desire, my dreams. What I desire most is an unconscious need for maternal love. There is a hole inside me that cannot be filled. My desire to create is a yearning that cannot be quenched. Therefore, every time I create something, it leaves me feeling unfulfilled, empty. Is this the suffering of all artists? The drive to keep trying to fill the hole? One more work, one more poem, one more song, always hoping/expecting to be completed by the product of creation.

B. My inner and outer selves, long separated, have recently been re-introduced to each other. Each is wondering which is real? How can it be both? It must be both, but they don't trust each other. The two are karmically united, but afraid of each other. There is an inherent energy in this tension, an energy that can be utilized. Inner and outer is only one duality. The split is also one of Mind and Body, Mind and Soul, Body and Soul. Three different dualities, each a mirror of the others.

B. Can these two halves become one? Should they? Does a new singular life emerge from their union, or shall there always be two? Is a partnership the way? Another reflection: Inner and Outer, Inner and United, United and Outer. Three more dualities.

[Note for further exploration: Does this formulation also apply to gender? Male and Female aren't genders, they are archetypes. Active and Receptive. Transgender people are revealing something long forgotten about the nature of humanity. Something wondrous. The uniting of these two archetypes isn't an end game. It is only one possibility among a myriad of possibilities, because there are infinities of archetypes.]

A. I Must throw myself into the fire. I Must surrender to the infinite possibilities within me and without me. The tension of my desire is fuel, energy, a force that must be allowed to continue to flow. This tension is intrinsic in me, it is vital, it IS me.

A. There is a self within me that Must remain unseen. The reason I accidentally hung myself (long story) was that I went too deep into my character (I was "acting.") An actor must maintain a delicate balance between themselves as an actor and themselves as the character they are portraying. Example: A character hits their thumb with a hammer. There's a tension of belief that must be maintained. If it looks like too real, the tension is lost (subsumed). If it looks too fake, the tension is lost (denied). Creativity requires revelation, but only so much. Someone (myself) who has hidden themselves for so long, risks everything if they reveal too much all at once. Creativity also requires  receptivity, being open, but the energy must be constrained or it will lose all shape. The same energy that germinates a seed, fuels weapons of mass destruction, natural (volcano), and machine (atomic bomb), alike. Creativity requires at once, discipline and abandon. Too much in either direction and the game is off.

C. The Sun is both, the cause of energy (on earth) and the result of energy (universal). The Sun is often seen as male, and the Moon female, but these are incomplete analogies. The Sun is Male only in so far as it also embodies the feminine archetype. The Moon is only Female in so far as it also embodies the masculine archetype. These two opposite archetypes are wedded, united. In other words, held in tension with each other. Within each of us.

C. The Sun shines on us (me) to illuminate, to initiate, to seed. The center of the Sun is fire and violence, calamity, and chaos. The opposite of light is the dark core of the Sun. The Sun shines outward. Its source, it's fury, lies deep in its core, where it Must remain.

Answer: Oh shut up already, and just keep on doing what you've been doing. The dance of life is getting out of our heads and into the flow, and stepping out of the flow, to rest, recuperate, and recharge, in order that we may fall back into the flow.

The purpose of making art is making art. It will never be enough. It is all there is.