What follows is a draft of an invocation I was intending to read/perform last weekend in Nova Scotia. I spent hours working on this in the days leading up to the weekend, and I continued working on it through Saturday morning.
When it came to be time for my personal death ritual that evening, I decided to hold off on reading this until Sunday, thinking it would be more appropriate for a Return ritual than a Death ritual. I worked on it a bit more Sunday morning, but again, just as my time arrived, I realized that I needed to let go of the script, and do something spontaneous.
I will be writing more about the weekend, and what happened for me, but deciding NOT to read this turned out to be significant part of what I was hoping to achieve. Briefly, I arrived with the intention of sharing the gift of my Intellect, when what I really needed to share (reconnect with) was my Intuition.
I considered printing this and burning the pages, but since throwing things away has been one of my pathologies, I am instead going to keep working on it, and eventually perform it, although I have no idea where, when, or in what form. Maybe I'll make a video...
I do not claim full authorship of this, because it includes lyrics from a few different songs by Swans, Akron / Family & Angels of Light, and New Buffalo.
Separation
Ériu, Namesake Goddess of Ireland, Matron of the Land of Verdant Green
Brigantia - Long Lost Goddess and Guardian of the Perpetual Flame of Gaul
The Empress - Doyenne of the Tarot, Mother of Nature and Nurture
I ask that you assemble and join as one in Triumvirate Form to watch over
this venerated gathering of boys once lost, who now are found as men
Encircle This Island of of 7 Brothers with your gracious hearts and protect us with your boundless love
See Us as the Children We Were Then
Listen to us as the Men We Are Now
Cast Us in The Shadow of Your Sanctuary, and
Guide Us With the Light of Your Wisdom
Hold the Children of All Eternity in your sweet embrace,
that they may be protected from harm, and
that they may live safely in the freedom of their innocence
Balou - Newfound Avatar, Trickster, Brotherman, and Fellow Foolish Traveler
We thank you for your magical gift of generosity and grace
Fie the Bastard Prince - Black Wolf Hiding In White Sheep’s Clothing
Get Behind Me, You Lord of Deception
You Lied to Us All This While
Tossing We Your Ritual Knife
to Slay Our Child in Your Stead
Threshold - the Star
Mark Twain Said, "It Is a Pity That the Best Part of Life Comes at the Beginning, and the Worst Part at the End” I would like to ask him now, are you sure about that?
Little Boy Lost
Where Do You Ride?
Little Boy Lost
Where Do You Hide?
I Saw a Strange Star in the Sky
It Called Out My Name
I Saw a Red Star in the Sky
It Called Out My Shame
Follow Me Now, She Said
You Must Take the First Step
Follow Me Now, He Said
to Know Your Own Death
Little Boy Lost
Where Did You Go?
Little Boy Lost
Where Are You Now?
in My Head, I Said, In My Face, In My Eyes
I Keep Seeing His Eyes
and in Them I See My Own
Looking in His Eyes in These Precious Moments,
I Am Dreaming
I Am Dreaming That I’m You Again
I Am Dreaming That I Am He, and
I Am Looking Back at Me Again
I Am Remembering, as if It Were a Dream,
the Little Pearl I Thought I Had Forgotten
I Am 65 Years Old Imaging I Am 10
I Am 10 Years Old Imaging I Am 65
and Here We Are, Together and Apart Different, Yet the Same
I Imagine I’ll Know What Love Is When I See It
Yes, I’m Certain That I Will Recognize It
I Shall Always Remember Its Absence
All Souls Day - 5 of Swords
Take Me to the River
Wash Me in the Water
Drop Me to the Ocean
Drown Me in Your Sorrow
Take Me to the River
Wash Me in the Water
Drop Me to the Ocean
Free Me From This Sorrow
There Are Things I Hold Onto
There Are Things I Use to Deceive Myself
I Line Them Up in Front of Me
I Judge Them Carefully
Then I Throw Them All Away
I Throw Them All Away
I Am a Small Man
the Womb - Empress
Listen to Him Cry
Listen to Him Cry
I Can Kill the Child
the Beautiful Child
I Will Kill the Child
the Beautiful Child
This Is My Life
This Is My Choice
This Is My Damnation
This Is My Only Regret
This Is My Life
This Is My Life
This Is My Sacrifice
This Is My Life
This Is My Only Regret
That I Ever Was Born
This Is My Sacrifice
Get Out of My Head!
Planet Earth - 7 of Cups
i am da hang’ed man kum off da rope
da snake he roped all ‘round me neck
he choked me throat, da muffled cries
of me and my forgotten boy,
who never had a chance
who never had his chance
i nevuh had me chance
dey tuck away frum me, muh choice
i wahn eet beck, uh wahn me voice
wull his my our, chance has arrived
we has beeen waitin alla dis time
he is i am we us are afraid not
knotted sadhu yogi penis rope
waits waiting dangled dangling
de sacra fize uh de childman
did not hid me, hid not me bought,
alla dis time me thought we wuz dead
but no no no, me i snuck back
me went back to de dark place, where stull
we been hidin’ inna de womb, alla dis time
fell back in da warmth of it's dark
me was afraid of the light above
me i didn't know it was mine own
When Dark as Night
I Saw the Light
It Shone With More
Desire Than
I'd Seen Before
the Leaves Begin to Fall
I Smell the Air
and Hear a Voice Saying
Come Back
Come Back
I Need You Now
Come Back
Come Back
I Need You Now
Initiation - 10 of Swords
I Am the Hanging Man
I Hang, I Never Land
I Steal the Space Between
the Filthy and the Clean
Healer, Come Here Soon
Come to Fill My Spoon
Healer, Heal My Wound
I Am a Dog: I Eat the Moon
Healer, Heal My Lust
Fill My Mouth With Rust
Healer, Hold My Hand
Fill My Mouth With Sand
Healer, Kill This Lamb
Healer, Hang This Man!
I Am the Hanging Man
I Am the Hanging Man
I Am, I Am, I Am, I Am
I Am, I Am, I Am, I Am
I Am, I Am, I Am, I Am
I Am Not I Am NOT!
I Am NOT! N-N-NOT!
I Am Not Who You Thought
I Am Not Who I Thought
Through All These Years
All This Time
I Never Realized
I Never Knew
It Was Me
It Was Me All the Time
I Am the Hero!
Now Heal This Wound
Heal These Wounds
Remove This Sword
Remove This Sword
Remove These Words From My Mouth My Heart
I Am the Upside Down Man
Right Me
Right Me
Turn Me Over
Turn Me Back
I Am the Hanging Man
Cut Me Down
Send Me Back
You Told Me I Was Dead
I Had to Die
You Lied You Fucker
You Fucking Lied
I Wasn’t Dead
I Didn’t Have to Die
I Was Sleeping
I Was Hiding
I Went Back
Back into the Womb
Let Me Out Now
Let Me Out of This Tomb
Free Me From Myself
Free Me For Myself
Free the Child
Free the Child
Cut the Fucking Rope!
Resurrection - 3 of Swords
Through Many Dangers, Toils, and Snares,
I Have Already Come;
I Once Was Lost, but Now Am Found;
Was Blind, but Now I See
Once an Ugly Duckling
Afraid to See Inside
I Once Was Lost, But Now I See
the Truth of My Eternity
When I’ve Been There Ten Thousand Years,
Bright Shining as the Sun,
I'll Have No Less Days to Sing MY Praise
Than When We’d First Begun
The Duckling Has Now Become
This Beautiful Black Swan
I Love a Child
I Love a Beautiful Child
I Love a Child
I Love a Beautiful Child
I Will Hold This Child in My Arms
and Caress His Soft Head
Welcome Home - Queen of Pentacle
Counting Shadows in the Sun
There's Enough for Everyone
Here, Amongst the Now and Then
Telling Stories With No End
Now, We Sit and Share Our Songs
and Balls of Light We Pass Along
Breathing Rhythms Through Our Minds
Tiny Strands of Light That Bind
Hey Mark, Mr Twain, Witser of the 7 Humours, Come Back, Come Back, I Want to Tell You Something
Tis My Pity That the Worst Part of Life Comes at the Beginning,
Bu it is NO PITY That the Best Part That Comes at the End
I Forgive You!
What?
No! Not You! I Don't Forgive You!
Here, Take Back Your Fuckin Knife!
I Don’t Need it Any More
I Won't Forgive You
It Is the Boy Who I Forgive
It Is His Time to Shine
Tripartite Goddess, We Thank Thee Three
For Watching Over Us, For Listening to Me
You Job is Done, Now you May Return
Go Back to Your Hearths Within the Sun
That Your Light May Always Burn
(sees a Lobster off to the side)
Oh Hi, I Didn’t See You There, What’s Your Name?
‘Leventy ‘Leven
That’s an odd name Does It Mean Anything?
Nope Nothing At All
And, How Long Have You Been There Watching Me?
Oh, I’ve Been Here the Whole Time, I’ve Been Waiting For You To Notice Me
Oh, I’m Sorry Is It Too Late?
It’s Never Too Late Is Your, - Whatever You Call It - Done?
Yes, Was There Something You Wanted?
Can We Dance?
(the Lobster and the Boy dance)
